My darlings! Did you know that if you sign up for a founding member subscription you get an original 4 x 6 drawing sent to you in the post! Here are just some of the cuties who have flown through the postal system in the past few weeks.
I have just woken up and I have not yet had my coffee (it is boiling as we speak) and I have decided to do a 180 on my Substack plans for this week. I reduced the dosage of my anti anxiety medication over the last few weeks and I feel like this.
Sorry wait, that drawing is too sweet. I feel like this:
I went on my anti anxiety medication while working on Summer Camp because I didn’t feel like I had the tools to sustain that experience alone. I try to find windows of time in my life to ween myself down to a lower dose because sometimes it leaves me feeling a little muted. See this poem I wrote November 3rd 2021:
The experience of chipping away at my medication feels different every time - sometimes nausea, sometimes brain zaps, this time I want to sleep all the time, and there is a thick feeling of ‘I don’t want to go’ over everything - a reference to this song by Fred Again which I have been listening to on repeat:
I am a party
Inside of my head
Inside of my house
So I don't wanna go
This morning I feel like a sore thumb with a foggy brain. I think I always thought I was an anxious person because I had something to be anxious about, but as time goes on, I realize that I am an anxious person and that is the end of the sentence. That was made very clear this week when writing a Substack post felt like a truly insurmountable task, and I had just been planning to write ‘fun facts about pencils.’
Instead I thought perhaps it was best to lie down and have a little sleep because those fun facts about pencils aren’t going anywhere and neither am I.
I'm on escitalopram too! *throws magical rainbow confetti pills* I got a bogus "3 week trial" (aka free samples) over 15 years ago and my brain is hook. It has been such a help in my life but damn. I've never been able to successfully transition to anything else. Thank you for sharing your journey. A big FU to brain zaps as well. :)
thanks for sharing wishing you a restful week ❤